OLWG #106- TSA

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.

Bertram finished packing and made his way down the hall to the front door with his suitcase. The case was hard sided with wheels and a handle that pulled out so it could be rolled around and didn’t have to be carried. He had gotten it specifically for this trip.

“Brandi, honey; I think I’m ready to go. Should I wait in the car?” he knew she was knocking around in the kitchen so he spoke loud enough for her to hear him.

“What?” she called, and he could hear her footsteps coming his way across the tile floor in the den. When she got to the entryway she said it again, “What?”

“I said that I’m all packed, dressed and ready to go. Should I wait in the car? You are still driving me to the airport aren’t you?”

“Of course I’m giving you a ride to the airport, Bert, but your flight’s not for four hours yet. It’s too early to go. I’m making us some lunch. I thought you might want to eat first. Besides that, we need to review your packing and go over what you can expect today. I’m frying some bologna. I wanted to make sandwiches with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and brown mustard.”

“I’m too nervous to eat. The airport’s going to be the worst part of this trip. It used to be fun to fly but terrorists have taken all the pleasure out of air travel.”

“Relax, Baby,” she said. She reached up and put her hand on his shoulder. It was comforting. “Did you pack everything? You didn’t keep anything out, did you? You can’t smoke on the plane, you know so all of that stuff has to go into your checked baggage. Let’s take a look, OK?”


“Let me just go and turn off the stove first,” Brandi said and she spun on her toe and retreated back to the kitchen.

Quick as a wink she was back. She grabbed his suitcase and laid it on the floor. She knelt down next to it and reached for the clasps. The case wouldn’t open. “Good,” she said, “you locked it.”

“Just like you told me to, Honey,” he reached in his pocket and removed a small key. He held it out to her, “Here ya go.”

Brandi smiled and took the proffered key; unlocked the case and looked inside.

“Wow, you’ve done a nice job here,” she rifled through his folded shirts and jeans. She glanced at his underwear and socks, bypassed his old tennis shoes and soon found the crude false bottom in the case. “Jesus, Bert; a secret compartment? Really?” She studied the look on his face. “This isn’t going to fool anyone.”

“I thought this might work,” he shrugged, “you know how I feel about people who take drugs, and those airport security guys they’ll take my drugs if they find ‘em”

“This false bottom isn’t going to work though, Bert. It’s too obvious. They’ll find your stash straight away.”

“Open it then,” he told her, “go on – open it.”

She did, and tucked inside were a couple of old Penthouse magazines with some of the pages stuck together. There was a thumb-worn copy of “Portnoy’s Complaint” that was filled with notes written in the margins and yellow highlights. She picked the items up one at a time and then tossed them roughly back into the hidden compartment of his case.

“My God, Bert,” she grimaced, “that’s disgusting and demeaning. And, where’s your stash. You can’t have it on you or in your carry on. Are you thinking at all?”

“You didn’t even look in my tennis shoes, I’ve got about a quarter pound of premier bud stashed in my socks and tennis shoes. The false bottom is a ruse, a red herring. I hid weird porn in there because it kinda makes sense that someone would hide things like that from a TSA agent. They’ll find that first, and quit looking.”

Brandi turned her face up and gave him a kiss, “You’re brilliant, Bertram, brilliant. I’ll go put those bologna sandwiches together. You want some iced tea?”

“That’d be great Honey, thanks.”

This week’s prompts are:

  1. keep walking till the music gets loud
  2. it’s always money
  3. he only came in to get out of the snow

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!


9 thoughts on “OLWG #106- TSA

  1. And thanks I like that there’s no such thing as late.
    There are things that TSA miss, that’s for sure. They focus on what they can see and unfortunately profile. Your piece reminds me of the saying; When there’s a will there’s a way. Works for really bad folks too.

    I played with fiction here: A Bigfoot Tale…

    Liked by 2 people

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