OLWG #111- A Couple of Old Hippies

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.



Roger left his rusty yellow beach cruiser on the porch and pushed open the back door.

“Karen?,” he called, “I’m home.”

“I’m in the kitchen, hon.”

Roger hung his rain gear on the peg, set his Wellies on the floor beneath his Mac and pulled on the slippers that Karen had knitted for him last Christmas. He made his way to the kitchen where Karen had something stewing on the stove. He gave his wife a peck on the cheek. He and Karen had been a couple since high school. They’d been through a lot together. They had gone through their drug phase, their vegetarian phase, their vegan phase, and their open-relationship phase. These days the phases were about done. They’d enjoy some Alice B. Toklas brownies now and then, but they were primarily a normal middle class, middle-aged American couple. Roger worked at Mr Suggs’ Organic Farm while Karen was a housewife. They’d given up on the open relationship shit and were, for the most part, monogamous these days. They were eating meat again and on special occasions, they would score a bit of acid so that they could make love under the influence of purple electric KoolAid; with Jimi Hendrix music blaring through the house.

They had never had children.

“How was your day, honey?” Karen asked; then, with scarcely a pause for breath, started telling Roger about hers. “I went to that new market in Danville today, it’s pretty interesting. Everything is organic and local. They have everything there. Fruits, veggies, meats, fish and there are even some ladies who sell pies that they bake at home.”

Roger went to the table and fussed with the large Cannabis plant that he had growing there in the window.

“What are you cooking there, Karen? It smells great.” Roger asked.

“Do you remember Jane Winegarden from school?” Karen continued.

“I think so.”

“I saw her there. She must have had a hundred facelifts. Big ole duck lips, and talk about plastic! There’s no way her boobs are real.” She tasted the broth from the pot, reached up and took down a bottle of Paprika. She tossed in a pinch. “Get this, Rog… she’s skinny as a rail and she doesn’t even eat meat. To top it off, she was wearing leather pants. I mean, my God, she’s still a vegetarian; she doesn’t even eat beef. She shouldn’t wear leather, ‘ya know? I mean you shouldn’t wear it if you don’t eat it. Right?” She looked at her husband who nodded his head.

“You’re right, sweetheart,” he said, “what’s that on the stove?”

“Anyway, I bought some meat from a rancher whose spread is ’bout a mile east of Danville. I got a blueberry pie from those ladies, too. I figure we can have pie and ice cream for dessert tonight. That’ll be good, doncha think?”

“Sounds great but what is that? It smells so wonderful?” he got up and moved to the stove for a closer look.

“I’m just cooking it down now. I’m gonna put it in a Pyrex and bake it. There were still some Beets and Brussels Sprouts that you brought home from work, last week. I’ll add some corn and green chiles; I think we can brown some grated cheese and bread crumbs on top – should be good!”

“But, what is it, Karen? My mouth is watering.”

“It’s nothing yet, but it will be a Chinchilla casserole.” she turned to her husband whose eyes were big and round, “Roger, I bought the most far-out coat today.”


This week’s prompts are:

  1. whisky for sale
  2. a button nose
  3. When entrusted with a secret…

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!

 

Advertisements

OLWG #110- Determination Without A Conscience

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.



Teddy Conway packed a box with stuff from his desk. Pictures his kids had coloured for him when they were in Primary School, that photo of his wife that she hated and he loved, certificates from classes that he had completed, and one of those things that spins and helps you waste time – that thing that Rachel had given him when she picked his name in the Secret Santa draw a couple years back. He seldom played with it. He kept it just because Rachel had given it to him.

Janelle, from HR, leaned against his cubicle wall and watched him pack it all up and as he turned to go she chided, “You should take that ivy too.”

“You can have it, Janelle, if you want it.”

“I don’t want it,” she said, “it’s too leggy. Don’t leave it here though. Take it away.”

He picked up the offending Pothos and set the pot in the box. He rolled the rest of the plant around his hands and laid it in with the rest of his stuff before following Janelle out to the lobby where she stopped by the main door.

“I’m not supposed to do this Mr Conway, but good luck. I’ll miss you.”

Teddy shook her hand and pushed through the door. On the pavement, he paused and looked at his watch. It was two hours till the next train that would take him anywhere near home. What would he tell Darlene?

He headed down the street and turned into the first bar he passed, Lee Harvey’s. Inside everything was panelled in dark wood, there were dartboards off to the side, and a long wide bar with a brass rail. He headed to the bar and sat his box down before taking a stool. A thin girl, who looked a little like Joan Jett ambled down to where he sat.

“What can I getcha?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” Teddy said, “I’m not really a drinker.”

Joan just stared at him and waited; she might have tapped her foot a little.

“Scotch and Coke,” he finally blurted out.

Ms Jett’s eyes got wide, “In the same glass?” she asked.

“Yeah!” he replied. Maybe a little bit sharper than he had intended. She turned and walked down the bar. Got busy; and when she returned, she placed a glass of bubbling dark liquid in front of him. Teddy picked up the tumbler and took a long drink.

“God, that’s awful,” he sputtered after he choked it down. The Joan Jett bartender was standing nearby laughing. “What are you laughing at?” Teddy asked.

“I’m laughing at you,” she said, “that’ll be five bucks, and only because I used well whisky. If I’d used the good stuff it would’ve cost you a lot more than that.”

Teddy reached into his hip pocket and pulled out a money clip. He peeled a fiver off and slammed it on the bar, “I hope you don’t expect a tip.”

She laughed even harder, “I actually thought you were kidding,” she managed to say, “Scotch and coke? Really?”

“What should I drink?”

“If you want good Scotch you drink it neat.”

“Ok, give me a neat one.”

Joan turned and reached up to the top shelf. She pulled down a tall, thin, green bottle.


This week’s prompts are:

  1. he lives only in her mind
  2. is so…
  3. this close to the holidays

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!

 

OLWG #109- Losing Linda

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.



He put his cigarette out in the overflowing ash tray and immediately reached for another. The pack was empty, so he crushed it into a ball and threw it across the room, missing the bin. How long had it been since he’d slept? He couldn’t remember. Ate? He wasn’t sure. He rubbed his eyes and ran coarse fingers through his hair.

The sun should be coming up soon.

“I probably oughta shower and go get some breakfast.” he said out loud.

There was a “Norm’s” a couple blocks over; maybe a Belgian waffle and a cup of coffee? He considered this and promptly discarded the idea. The coffee there sucked.

IHOP, he thought. No, no; last time he’d been there he’d had to protect his coffee because it wasn’t strong enough to look out for itself.

Denny’s? They had those Grand Slam Breakfasts?

Linda came to mind. They had met at that Denny’s across the river. Now he was about to lose her and he didn’t even know why. She kept telling him that she shouldn’t have to explain it. He should know, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what he had done.

He settled on the Chevron truck stop by the freeway. He could get a pack of smokes there; Pigs in a Blanket. The coffee was strong and the cups were bottomless.


This week’s prompts are:

  1. gnarly
  2. antique bottles
  3. flowers wilted and dogs panted in the shade

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!

 

OLWG #108- When Hugh Realizes That His Older Sister Is About To Commit Social Suicide at the Club – Will He Intervene and Save Her or Leave Her to Her Own Devices

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.



Hugh watched Tess leaving the loo, paper tailing from her blue tennis shoe.


This week’s prompts are:

  1. I told you not to throw that egg
  2. even distribution
  3. not all forever’s are equal

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!

 

OLWG #107- The Governors Museum

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.



It was another cookie-cutter day and Mary found herself sitting at a small bistro table with her friend Cindy on the pavement in front of Starfish Coffee on the High Street. Cindy was rambling on about her latest attempt to stave off boredom and telling Mary about the email she had recently received from Lineage.com. She was reciting facts about her great, great, great Grandmother who had disguised herself as a man and enlisted in the Union Army; where she had fought in the Civil War. Mary listened with only half an ear and kept her eye on the time as she had to pick up Billy from hockey and collect Buffy from dance by four o’clock and then get them over to the tutors before four thirty. Then Cindy said something that got Mary’s attention.

“You should do it too, Mary. It’s really easy. All you do is spit into a test tube and mail it to them. In a couple of weeks you’ll know everything you could ever want to know about your ancestors. You can even find out about Bill’s family tree without him even knowing… just sign up Billy or Buffy. You’ll learn about their lineage as well: viola you’ll know all about Bill too.”

“Not Billy,” Mary said, “I don’t want to open that can of worms, but Buffy? Well, Buffy could work.”

Cindy just nodded her head sagely and sipped her double, skinny, no caff lattè.

“How does this work, Cin? I might be interested. How would I do this?”

“OMG, Mary there are a ton of places you can work through. I used Lineage.com but there’s also 23Skidoo, or Arborvitae. I gather that those three are pretty much the leaders and basically the same, so any of them would probably do.” Cindy stopped and watched Mary, waiting for her to chime in.

“Thanks, Cin. Text me if you want to walk out to the jetty tomorrow morning? I gotta run. Collect the kids.”

That night, while Bill slept, Mary went online to 23Skidoo and arranged for them to send a test kit. Mary had been raised by a single mom, Irene Dubois, who worked as a bookkeeper in the city. Her mom had been born and raised in Hartford, Connecticut.

Mary had never known her father, but her mom had told her he’d been a decorated war veteran and had passed away before Mary’d been born. The name on her birth certificate identified her father as ‘Unknown’.

When the test kit came in the mail Mary followed the instructions and mailed it back to the company. She promptly forgot about it; just a lark, a spur of the moment decision that was truly meaningless and would have no real bearing or impact on her life. Five weeks later she opened an email from 23Skidoo.com. She read:

Greetings Ms Vanella,

Thank you for submitting a DNA sample to 23Skidoo for analysis. 
Comparisons of the sample you sent with the information in our 
current database shows that your parents are Eileen Dubois, 
of Hartford, Connecticut and Robert Noble, also of Hartford. 
Further our records indicate that Eileen Dubois passed 
on July of 2017 while Robert Noble lives in the greater Hartford area.

With best regards,

There was a lot of other blather about her mother’s parents, grandparents, and so on, that Mary already knew and there was a detailed description of Robert Noble’s lineage that she read and tried to commit to memory. The next morning, after Bill left for work and the kids were in school, Mary Googled Robert Noble.

Online, she learned that her reputed father is still alive, although now in poor health. He was, and still is, an underworld character, who ran a restaurant with his brother and was nicknamed ‘The Waiter’. He is described by the FBI as a member of the Philadelphia Mafia for more than six decades with a criminal record that includes counterfeiting, and assault. He has also been found guilty of trafficking in drugs, firearms, and stolen goods. The most interesting information that Mary uncovered that morning was that her “Father” is a primary suspect in the 1990 heist of The Governors Museum in Portland ME, where on March 18, 1990, thirteen works of art valued at a combined total of more than $500 million had been stolen in the wee hours of the morning.

Damn, Mary thought to herself. If mom wasn’t dead she’d have a lot explaining to do. Mary set about finding ‘Daddy’s’ contact information. She paid the fifteen dollar fee for an online records search but only found out that he lives with his ailing wife in a rundown ranch-style house in the suburbs of Hartford and drives a 1989 Buick.


This week’s prompts are:

  1. he’s a real horse’s ass, but a helluva painter
  2. undeserved ego
  3. you’re missing the point

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!

 

OLWG #106- TSA

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.



Bertram finished packing and made his way down the hall to the front door with his suitcase. The case was hard sided with wheels and a handle that pulled out so it could be rolled around and didn’t have to be carried. He had gotten it specifically for this trip.

“Brandi, honey; I think I’m ready to go. Should I wait in the car?” he knew she was knocking around in the kitchen so he spoke loud enough for her to hear him.

“What?” she called, and he could hear her footsteps coming his way across the tile floor in the den. When she got to the entryway she said it again, “What?”

“I said that I’m all packed, dressed and ready to go. Should I wait in the car? You are still driving me to the airport aren’t you?”

“Of course I’m giving you a ride to the airport, Bert, but your flight’s not for four hours yet. It’s too early to go. I’m making us some lunch. I thought you might want to eat first. Besides that, we need to review your packing and go over what you can expect today. I’m frying some bologna. I wanted to make sandwiches with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and brown mustard.”

“I’m too nervous to eat. The airport’s going to be the worst part of this trip. It used to be fun to fly but terrorists have taken all the pleasure out of air travel.”

“Relax, Baby,” she said. She reached up and put her hand on his shoulder. It was comforting. “Did you pack everything? You didn’t keep anything out, did you? You can’t smoke on the plane, you know so all of that stuff has to go into your checked baggage. Let’s take a look, OK?”

“OK.”

“Let me just go and turn off the stove first,” Brandi said and she spun on her toe and retreated back to the kitchen.

Quick as a wink she was back. She grabbed his suitcase and laid it on the floor. She knelt down next to it and reached for the clasps. The case wouldn’t open. “Good,” she said, “you locked it.”

“Just like you told me to, Honey,” he reached in his pocket and removed a small key. He held it out to her, “Here ya go.”

Brandi smiled and took the proffered key; unlocked the case and looked inside.

“Wow, you’ve done a nice job here,” she rifled through his folded shirts and jeans. She glanced at his underwear and socks, bypassed his old tennis shoes and soon found the crude false bottom in the case. “Jesus, Bert; a secret compartment? Really?” She studied the look on his face. “This isn’t going to fool anyone.”

“I thought this might work,” he shrugged, “you know how I feel about people who take drugs, and those airport security guys they’ll take my drugs if they find ‘em”

“This false bottom isn’t going to work though, Bert. It’s too obvious. They’ll find your stash straight away.”

“Open it then,” he told her, “go on – open it.”

She did, and tucked inside were a couple of old Penthouse magazines with some of the pages stuck together. There was a thumb-worn copy of “Portnoy’s Complaint” that was filled with notes written in the margins and yellow highlights. She picked the items up one at a time and then tossed them roughly back into the hidden compartment of his case.

“My God, Bert,” she grimaced, “that’s disgusting and demeaning. And, where’s your stash. You can’t have it on you or in your carry on. Are you thinking at all?”

“You didn’t even look in my tennis shoes, I’ve got about a quarter pound of premier bud stashed in my socks and tennis shoes. The false bottom is a ruse, a red herring. I hid weird porn in there because it kinda makes sense that someone would hide things like that from a TSA agent. They’ll find that first, and quit looking.”

Brandi turned her face up and gave him a kiss, “You’re brilliant, Bertram, brilliant. I’ll go put those bologna sandwiches together. You want some iced tea?”

“That’d be great Honey, thanks.”


This week’s prompts are:

  1. keep walking till the music gets loud
  2. it’s always money
  3. he only came in to get out of the snow

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!

 

OLWG #105- Mutiny, Most Foul

This week’s prompts are at the bottom.
Practice makes perfect. Let me know what you think.

Here’s how to play along, if you are unsure.



After the mutiny, Captain Jacques Hellion found himself adrift on a lifeboat with only his parrot, Samuel, and very few supplies. His first mate, Sneed, had led the crew against him and taken Hellion’s ship. As Sneed turned the ship alee and sailed away the Cap’n shook his fist and cursed his former crew, He yelled and yelled. He didn’t stop until his ship, Buccaneer’s Slave, had disappeared over the horizon at which point Jacques Hellion got down to the business of inventorying the small boat’s contents.

He found tobacco, hard tack, salted fish and maybe three litres of drinking water. There was also an old bottle with a cork stopper. Cap’n Hellion pulled the stopper from the bottle, and a Genie appeared. The genie announced that he would grant only one wish to the Pirate Captain; not three, as was the custom.

Excited, and without thinking it through, Jacques Hellion blurted out, “Turn the sea into rum!” which is, of course, a Pirate’s favourite drink.

“As you wish,” the genie waved his hands elaborately, a mighty storm blew up and the Genie vanished.

The lifeboat was a modified Norwegian yawl boasting a double hull, filled with cork, for buoyancy and a cast iron keel that made it self righting. Captain Hellion had no trouble with the storm and when it blew out only the gentle lapping of rum against the hull broke the stillness. Both the pirate and the parrot, Samuel, sampled the rum and found it to be very good rum, indeed.

The two stared at one another as they considered their circumstance.

Finally, Samuel narrowed his eyes and looked disgustedly at the Captain. Hellion stared back, defiantly.

“Now yee’ve done it.” cackled the bird, “Now we’re gonna have to pee in the boat.”


This week’s prompts are:

  1. it’s clogged
  2. soaked
  3. rocket surgery

Go ahead and dive in, set your imagination free!
Write something
Ready, Set, Go – you have 25 minutes, but if that is not possible, take as long as you need and, have fun!